Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Quest of Great Proportions

August- inspiring reverence or admiration.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: sliced bread!

Haven't you ever been asked to find the greatest thing since sliced bread? Everyone says it's such a great concept, that simply taking a good thing and changing it just slightly to make it better was genius. Frankly, I think it's just lazy. The only reason everyone LOVES sliced bread so much is because they don't have to slice it themselves! And it's ironic, really, because you know that, in these bread factories, they don't have workers slicing each individual loaf of bread. No! They have MACHINES to do it for them, therefore sliced bread is no longer such a great concept, because a new machine had to be invented in order to get the lazy people of Earth their pre-sliced bread. Jeez.

But I digress! Because I had a point, before all my seemingly pointless ranting. I have been challenged many times to find the greatest thing since sliced bread, always told that "it's the concept of changing an already great thing to make it better". Yeah, whatever. I still think the fridge is the greatest invention ever, but that doesn't apply to the concept. Moving on!

So, what has been changed and made better that people use all the time? Frankly, my first thought was Smoothies! It's all this wonderfully delicious fruit blended together to make something more delicious! Sliced bread worthy? But no. Because every invention out there is a combination of screws and bolts and whatever else. In fact, every invention is a smoothie of sorts! Except sliced bread. Hmmmm.....

You know what I just realized? I mean, I've known it all along, but the importance of it just came to me. Bread is MADE! You know? It doesn't grow on trees! It comes from wheat! And then they have to do all this stuff to make the wheat into bread! Therefore, our "greatest thing since sliced bread" can be an invention! As in, a heavy technological one that has been altered just slightly to make it better!

Well, this opens up a world of possibilities! It could be... let's see... a mini fridge! A fridge (greatest invention ever), but mini! Wait, that takes some effort.... How about silhouettes? We have some from when I was in fourth grade or so, and all the guy did was take some black paper and cut it to make something awesome! But I guess people don't really USE those... and not everyone has them. Ug!

This is more difficult then I thought... alright, why don't we make it a goal for you guys? I'll put up a poll and everything; all you have to do is leave comments with what you think the greatest thing since sliced bread is and why. Let's see how much participation we can round up here, shall we? Please, if you read this, leave a comment! It won't take more then a minute, and if you don't, you'll be as lazy as the people who love sliced bread so much.

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will be bitten by an Edward...er...a vampire, but will find that YOU are already a magical creature when HE is transformed into a mini version of you! (I hope you're a fridge.)


  1. Okay, Ashley...
    A. What the heck were you doing up at 6:16 A.M.????????
    and B. I think the "greatest thing since sliced bread" is the DYMO LABELER!!!!! I love them so very much. See... we used to have to WRITE labels, but that requires way too much effort, so with the DYMO labeler, we can TYPE them, and our labels are all neat and everything...:)

  2. I wasn't up at 6:16. It was 7:16, but Blogspot is an hour ahead, for some reason. And the Dymo Labeler may be awesome (though I haven't heard of it specifically) but it isn't something that has been altered for the better. They INVENTED it to make something easier, but it wasn't CHANGED to make anything easier. Get it? It's a supremely difficult concept.

  3. Hmmm... I would have to say the MIDI Controller. They altered your average keyboard by enabling it to be hooked into the computer and now it can sound, not only like a synth-y piano, but like a violin, bass guitar, or Irish Foghorn. The world of music is at your fingertips!!! You don't even have to know how to play all the instruments anymore!!!

  4. Also a good idea, and you're on the right track. But it wasn't a simple change they made to the keyboard, right? They had to do all this fancy technological stuff to it to make it better, right? With sliced bread, they just took the bread... and sliced it. See? But keep trying! I'm determined!

  5. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

  6. i can't think of anything!!!!!!!!!