Disconsonant- conflicting, disagreeing, contrary, etc.
The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: forks and spoons!!!
There IS a story behind this, my dear readers. You see, as I sat yesterday with a glass full of chocolate milk and a plate of mini brownies at my side, I indulged myself in the pleasure of watching The Powerpuff Girls. Yes, yes, I realize it's a children's show, but it really does have some fantastic jokes meant for adults (and the ones meant for kids aren't half bad either!)
So I was watching what I have now deemed my new favorite episode, an episode completely written in song. The travel-size heroes were singing to a villain as they destroyed him (lovely) about how good can't live without the bad, happy can't live without the sad, etc. The chorus stretched on with continued variations of this sort of comparison when I heard one that really stuck out from the rest.
"There can be no sun without the moon.
There can be no fork without the spoon."
Ok, how can you NOT say that isn't as obvious as the others. Fork and spoon aren't exactly what comes to mind when I hear good and bad. So, I thought to myself, Self? Which one is bad, and which one is good? And myself replied, Well, I just don't know, Ashley. Why don't you find out?
So I did, and so I am. I have polled nonstop today, asking which one was evil and why. The response was overwhelming; who knew people cared so much about the intentions of kitchen supplies? Most people agreed that the fork must be the evil one; after all, forks can stab you, but what harm can spoons do? (My little self peeped up at this question, stating Well, plastic spoons can break easily, and then you can't eat your pudding, and then you cry, and your salty tears fall in your pudding, and it isn't any good anymore, so you throw the broken spoon across the room in anger, but quickly realize the spoon didn't mean any harm and pick it back up and cradle it like a baby. I then told my little self to put a sock in it and go buy some more pudding.)
ANYWAY, despite the agreeable manner in which my friends answered this questions, I found myself getting more and more frustrated as the day went on. Why, you ask? WELL, apparently people were convinced that a spork was one of the options. IT WAS NOT. (For you geniuses who really don't know what a spork is, its pretty much a spoon with prongs. A spoon combined with a fork. A sp-ork. Spork. Catching on?)
It really aggravated me that everyone thought sporks were an option, when I clearly said "Fork, or spoon?" I guess I was kind of riled up at lunch, because I got into a heated discussion (well, more like a rant, since no one else was joining in) about sporks when my friend, who shall go by the generic name of Alice, said "I love sporks. It has all the great qualities of a fork combined with those of a spoon! Its awesome!"
My response?
Not, "Totally!"
Not, "Duh!"
Not even an unenthusiastic, "I agree."
Ready? Doubt it.
"You are soooo wrong! I would hate to be a spork! They have no idea what they are! Am I a fork, or am I a spoon? I have NO IDEA!!!! Look! My center is curved in, resembling a spoon, but my tips are pointed, like a fork! WHAT AM I? WHO AM I? That is one seriously confused eating utensil!"
*cricket cricket*
Five seconds later, my table erupted into hysterical laughter that carried on for at least three minutes, while I just sat there gasping, completely serious, wondering what in the world was so funny. Maybe I should do stand-up comedy. I could just get up on stage, with nothing prepared at all, then find something random in the crowd, like, oh, I don't know, a spork, and start ranting about it, and no one would be any the wiser. Not a bad idea, actually, except for the fact that when I actually try to be funny, I tend to fail epically.
The Great Blogzini predicts: You will accidentally bump into a man dressed as that giraffe from Toys 'R Us while walking across a small bridge. After mumbling an apology, you will carry on your merry way, not realizing you just got pick-pocketed.
