Thursday, April 2, 2009

Wheel... of... FORTUNE!!!!

Droll- amusing, entertaining, captivating, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: Wheel of Fortune!!!

Guys, this show is flipping HILARIOUS!!!! I am watching it as I type this (and I apologize if that makes this blog somewhat distracted sounded, and therefore not as amusing). There are many reasons this show causes me to break into unstoppable fits of laughter, sooooo let's get started!!!!

#1: The host. I believe they have changed the host of this show seven billion times. Right now, its some old guy who looks like he should be singing karaoke on a cruise ship. Sounds like it, too. Also, I believe he is flirting with the female contestants on the show, even though they happen to be at least forty years older than him. And that information they get about the contestants before the competition even begins? Well, if you forget to mention even one tiny bit of it in your "contestant profile", he'll say to you "Well, did you want to mention that you are in a sorority?" or whatever that forgotten bit of info is.

#2: The contestants, of course! Let me describe the ones on this particular episode. There's Nichole (not Nichol, not Nicole, but Nichole), who JUST won a million dollars, but then guessed the wrong letter and had her turn taken away, or something along those lines. There's Anita, who is just about the ditsiest person I have ever seen on reality TV. And there's Jason, who is busy throughout the entire show trying to get Anita to go out with him. For example, when he loses his extra turn or whatever, he says "Can't I at least give it to Anita?" who just sits there, tossing her hair and looking smug. Oh, how I hope she goes Bankrupt. (On the show, guys. Not in real life. I'm not THAT evil.) Meanwhile, poor Nichole is just sitting there, being the third wheel that she is. Sob sob, tear tear, cry cry.

#3: The contestants' expressions. There is apparently only two options regarding facial expressions on this show, and they are either looking eternally surprised or optimistically disappointed. Oh, I just lost half a million dollars? Well, that's alright, I'll just stand here in front of this cheesy mountain background and keep smiling. Oh, darn, my opponent just got the jackpot. Well, there's always next time! My, how I LOVE that mountain background! SO realistic!

#4: How self-absorbed the contestants are, even when they are behind everyone else by five million dollars. Watch how Anita cocks her head and claps when she earns a dollar. Vomit-inducing, really.

(Before I tell you the next reason, I would just like to add to #1 by informing you that the old dude just grabbed Anita's hand. Creeper.)

#5: The phrases they give the contestants to guess. The last one I saw was dinosaur exhibits, under the category of "Things". Wow. That will definitely clue you in. Because when I hear "Things", I automatically think "Oh! Dinosaur exhibit!"

Well, I could go on and on, but I have other things to watch, so adios, my non-existant readers!

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will be bitten by a cat. Two hours later, you will begin methodically licking yourself. Who needs a bathtub?

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