Tuesday, May 26, 2009

There Are Times When I'm Just Too Emotional to Think of a Title

Flagitious- evil, sinful, immoral, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: movie theaters!

Alright, I'm pumped, so let's get started. Movie theaters. Ug! First, there's the fact that those places are run by the biggest swindlers in the world. It's worse than going to a gas station after a hurricane! These people are charging TWELVE DOLLARS for a small popcorn and large drink! And I don't know what the prices are at YOUR theater, but mine costs ten dollars for ONE ticket to an evening show! Not to mention those boxes of candy they sell- those things cost more than the factory they come from. Next thing you know, these theaters are going to be changing the prices on movies depending on how good their ratings are!

But the insanity doesn't stop there. Oh, no! You see, they're already doing something like that at my movie theater. Except it isn't the cost that's affected by it; it's the times. You see, I was looking at times for a movie called The Soloist, because my friend and I really want to go see it. (Me mainly for Robert Downey Jr.) The only time it was playing today was 9:15 PM. Alright, ok, fine. Tomorrow: 9:15 PM. The next day: 9:15 PM. What the heck?!?!?!?! They are not playing this movie more than once per day? And at 9:15 AT NIGHT?!?!?! WHAT THE HECK! Oh, this movie isn't as successful as Terminator or Night at the Museum, so we're just going to play it at a very inconvient time? I don't understand it! They're swindlers, I tell you, SWINDLERS! I mean, I understand not playing it as much if it's not that successful, but wouldn't you put it in a better timeslot so more people would see it, making it A MORE SUCCESSFUL MOVIE? Idiots. Once again, I must refer to a favorite motto of mine: People are stupid. Simple as that.

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will join a rally of people with pitchforks and torches and race towards the nearest swimming pool, which you will then try to set on fire. Once thwarted, you will have a pitchfork battle underwater.

Note to reader:You know what I just realized? All of my predictions are somewhat violent. It's unintentional, I assure you.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Gather 'Round, Chill'uns...

Vacillating- indecisive, unclear, waffling, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: online quizzes!

Let me spin you chill'uns a yarn, naw: Once up'n a time, in a galaxy far away, I went online to a popular site by the name o' Facebook. Naw, this here Facebook had a good amoun' o' quizzes on 'er, so I tried a few out for myself. Some o' 'em were fantastic! Dead-on, even. But some o' 'em were so far off I couldn'ta reached 'em with a 15 foot long pole! Why, I remember the day I......

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................

Wha'? Wha' happen'd? Oh, yeah. My story. So, that there's why you should never climb a mountain with a pit bull. Naw, get outta here!

...
...
...
...
...

Oh, come on! Didn't you just love my imitation of an elderly redneck? No? Well... I suppose it was a little annoying. But hey! You should be proud I can still be so creative, what with all this blogging I'm doing! I believe it's been three days in a row now? And you didn't believe I could do it, did you?

But anyway, back to online quizzes. Ol' Grampa Joe had a point up there. I took a bunch of quizzes yesterday (for very important scientific research... certainly not because I was bored or anything) and got a variety of answers. Some were, well, dead-on, like the one that said my stereotype was a nerd. But then some were... simply amusing.

Example: I took a "Which Book Are You?" quiz a few days ago, thinking it would be fun, seeing as my friend got Winnie the Pooh as her answer. But when I took it? It told me I was THE TELL-TALE HEART!!! Because I'm CREEPY AND MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!!!!! I am NOT creepy or mysterious in the slightest! But according to a few of my friends, I am mysterious to people who I don't talk to in class. I'm not mysterious to them! I'm just the quiet one! But SOMEONE just wasn't satisfied with that answer, and just HAD to go around asking RANDOM PEOPLE I HAVE NEVER TALKED TO if they thought I was mysterious. The count is currently 10 For, 12 Against. Yeah, that's right.

Moving on. Another quiz I took today was the Rorschach Test, which is the thing with the little inkblots. Except it had inkblots in your result, not the questions. Whatever, I don't get it. But it told me I was tormented!!! Me! Tormented! Here, I can post the exact result:

You live a semi-normal life on the outside, but on the inside you have problems. Most of your life will be a long and painful trip, but at some point you will find happiness, so hang in there.

Problems. Long and painful trip. And they expect me to hang in there?!?!?!?! Losers. The people who make these quizzes are like the people who make fortune cookies. They have no idea what they're talking about.

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will experiance a blinding flash of white light, then realize that, by some unknown miracle, you have accepted the fact that brownies are awesome.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Prodigious Puppets! How Exciting!

Prodigious- wonderful, marvelous, awesome, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: puppets!

For those of you who think that puppets are only for children and clowns, let me assure you of your total incorrectness! Have you SEEN Harry Potter Puppet Pals? (If the answer is no, navigate away from this blog right now and go look it up on YouTube. HP Puppet Pals is way more important than this.) Even if you don't like The Boy Who Lived, or haven't read the series/seen the movies, it's hysterical!!! In fact, my D.I. (Destination Imagination- you see why we abbreviate) team likes it so much, we based our entire challenge around it! (If you don't know what D.I. is, you pretty much pick a challenge that is either technical, performance, or a mix of the two, and spend a super long time working on it.)

But this entry isn't just about HP Puppet Pals. There are many other examples of awesome puppets. Just look at Sesame Street, or The Muppets! Where would the children of today be without the guidance of Elmo and Kermit, even if certain parents have issues with Cookie Monster's overindulgent eating habits and force his name to be changed to "Veggie Monster", killing certain bloggers spirits... but anyway!

You know what's great about finger puppets? The floppy arms. They simply would not be as enjoyable if their arms didn't flop around. Can't you just imagine the dramatic sound effects when you see them?

FWUMP!
WHACK!
THUNK!

I know I do.

The Great Blogzini predicts: You shall have the theme from "Jaws" stuck in your head for the rest of the day. SWIM AWAY!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Point of View SWITCH

Crimped- frustrated, aggravated, thwarted, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: housecats!

HOW can they be crimped, you ask? Why, housecats have the perfect lives! They get to lounge around all day, lazily flicking their tails at the inferior beings that dote on them as they wolf down their "gourmet" wet food. They jump on fake mice and roll around in cat nip all day! They're entertained by a simple, mini laser beam, for crying out loud!!! HOW could they POSSIBLY be crimped?

Ah, my uninformed friends. You clearly have not lived with cats your entire lives, as I have. You have not had the many years of experience with them as I do. You see, cats may seem quite content with their seemingly simple lives. But it's all a facade! If you will simply walk in their paws for just a few minutes.........

A hazy fog fills the air as you are suddenly transformed into a housecat.

How lovely! you think to yourself. A patch of sun on the floor. I think I shall flop in it.

You proceed to lay down with a heavy thud in a warm spot of sunlight near the front door. Suddenly, one of your humans comes and opens the door. You immediately jump up and sprint to the opening, seeing the far-off horizon that holds your freedom. No more waiting for the right time of day to get that nice patch of sun! Once outside, you'll be able to

THUD!

You ran straight into a magical, invisible wall. You hear the humans laugh as they gasp the word "glass". What is this magic? It appears the outdoors is right at your pawtips, but try as you might, you can't get through this "glass". What havoc have these humans wreaked? They must be destroyed!

..........................................................................................................................................................................

You sit silently for weeks, staring the humans down, plotting your revenge. Oh, you try to spite them in many ways: only eating specific wet foods, and jumping in their seat right before they sit down. And no more do you give them the pleasure of sitting in their laps. No, no! They must suffer your intolerable shunning.

But still, it is not enough for the crime they have committed by placing that impenetrable glass wall in the doorway. Day in and day out, you try and try to break through, but you can't. The stupid humans laugh at you, thinking you just haven't learned that you can't get through, that you're an idiot. But it's not that you haven't learned; it's that you haven't given up hope of someday escaping the small title of a housecat.

Why do you want to leave, anyway? You have a nice bed, delicious food, and people who might as well be your slaves, they're so willing to serve you. To any other creature, it would feel like their own little kingdom. But you housecats know you were meant for bigger and better things! Forget a couple humans; the whole world should be waiting on you! Why do incompetent humans rule, when clearly you are the more skilled and useful of the two races. Of all the races, actually! You were meant to rule! You must be king (or queen)! You (oof) must (umph) break (uff) through (omph) this (ow) GLASS! (the glass wall disappears)

... You did it?...

WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

(You are snatched and shoved in a cage, which is then put in a car and driven to the vet.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!


*Bows* Thank you, thank you, one and all! That should be a play on Broadway. But anyway, a couple of important announcements. (Well, actually, they're not all that important, but oh well!) First of all, I have changed my profile picture, because I saw someone else who had the same one as me. Not cool. Anyway, I think the new one is better despite that, so check it out if you want.

Also, you know that link I have on my page for The Adventure of Zarutha, the most random story on Earth? Well, I'm taking it down, and here's why. My mom wants me to work on some writing this summer (other than my blog, I guess), so I thought starting over with Zarutha and making it longer and more complex would be the most fun way to do that. I don't want anyone mooching off my ideas or anything, so I won't be posting any of my work (don't ask me to, either). So, yeah.

Oh yeah! I am on summer break now, so expect more frequent posting. I will try my hardest to post at least twice a week, but we all know how unmotivated I am when it comes to this sort of thing.

Last thing: I will be putting a new poll up, so please vote! I don't know what it will be yet; I'll just make something up off the top of my head. Gracias!

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will buy a new booklight, rub it, and accidentally release a genie from it. Good job.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Boredom...

Hello, readers from a galaxy far, far away! This is one of those days when I just don't have the energy to do the usual formatting with the awards and whatnot. Why, you ask? Because I'm tired. Not in the sleepy way, just the I-have-absolutely-no-energy-to-spare way. So, I guess I'll just blog about my train of thought. It can be a wild ride sometimes, so let's see where this takes us.

First thought: school. It's almost over (for me, at least). This week is exams Monday-Wednesday, then a half-day of the oh-so-exciting graduation ceremony on Thursday. I really can't put into words how ANXIOUS I am for summer to be here. It's not that I'm excited for it; I don't have the energy to be. But it's weird; when I think to myself that in three and a half days I will be out of school, I feel a mixture of things. For example, there's a lot of teachers I am going to miss.  But then there are some that I am thrilled to be leaving! Plus, no more homework for two...and a half...months. Months that will pass slo o o o wly.  Months that will be filled with boredom a lot of the time. Months where I will miss my friends, teachers I may never see again, and yes, (gulp) G.I. But months that will also involve much fun with friends and trips to movies, camps, mountains, beaches, and restaurants! Throw in the fact that the first day of school feels like yesterday, and my brain feels like one big melting pot of doom.

DOOM
DOOR
FLOOR
FLOP
FLIP-FLOP

My dad hates flip-flops. He hates anything that goes in between his toes.  Even if they're the kind of flip-flops that have the fabric toe-separator, not the plastic one that hurts, he flinches every time he sees them. He's flinching now, as I wear them. (The fabric-y kind, not plastic.) 

Oh my, he is asking for the laptop. WELL. See you bloggies later. Perhaps my train o' thought will keep rolling in the next entry.