Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Macabre- eerie, creepy, ghoulish, deathly, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: Beanie Babies!

WHAT? you say. Beanie Babies? Those little stuffed animals that you can get for only a few bucks? Those things are my heroes! How could they be creepy? Ok, before we start, I have to ask: if you are still questioning my logic after reading my blog this long, why are you here? But now! Come, and let me enlighten you.

First of all, their name tags come out of their butts. Seriously! No joke! I am looking at three right now (they are orange, gray, and brown cats named Amber, Silver, and Pounce. Ooooh, creative.) I ask you, how is that natural? Really? This must be confusing some poor kids intensely. I, at least, find it somewhat ODD. My cat, after all, does not have a name tag ANYWHERE, let alone his backside. Goodness.

Second of all, have you ever looked straight into one's eyes? No? Go do it. You'll get my point.

Last, but certainly not least, I mentioned before in your supposed thoughts that these cheap little babies of bean can sell for only a few dollars (unless you are one of those people who sells your super old ones for a hundred big ones on eBay). So how is it that something so cheap can become such a huge franchise? Its like Papermate pencils or beef jerky... but worse! There has to be a hidden explanation... I am thinking mind control. I can picture that meeting now... (hope you guys missed my dialogs)

Beanie Baby C.E.O: So, we've got the basic idea down: a twist on the classic stuffed animal. Beans instead of fluff! It's genius! Any more ideas?

Beanie Baby Chief Engineer: Well, I have some ideas that are sure to boost our sales.

C.E.O: Go on.

Engineer: I was kind of thinking we could give the animals these huge, staring eyes, and behind those eyes? A high-tech, state of the art mind control contraption. Anyone who looks into the eyes (which will be unavoidable because they will be so remarkably large) will immediately feel compelled to buy more and tell their friends! With this hidden addition, our company will grow to be unbelievably successful!

C.E.O: Brilliant! But what happens after the business takes off?

Engineer: ... How does world domination sound?

The Great Blogzini predicts: You shall be struck silent by the realization that you are not a headless chicken.

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