Thursday, February 5, 2009


Goldbrick- a slacker, bum, goof-off, avoider, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: me!

Yeah, yeah, sorry folks; I haven't blogged in FOREVER! But don't think I've gone unpunished. My page hits have suffered dramatically. You know the current economy recession? Yeah, its like that, but in the page views genre.

So, to catch you up, I will list five things I might have blogged about at some point this week if I wasn't being lazy. I will then write a paragraph (and who KNOWS the definition of paragraph in my mind? It could go on for two sentences, or maybe twenty.) about each one, the effect being the little satisfaction meter in your brain reaching a relatively high number. Get it? Got it? Good.

  1. The Terrible Opening Band at the Killer's Concert
  2. The Urge to Dance to the Spice Girls
  3. How American Idol has Gone Downhill and my Unstoppable Hatred for "Bikini Girl"
  4. The Newest Miley Cyrus Scandal
  5. Pondering About Socks

Alrighty, then! Starting with the terrible opening band at the Killer's Concert (which, by the way, was beyond awesome, and those of you who read this blog know how powerful of an adjective awesome is to me). They were truly terrible, guys. Their name was M83 or something along those lines, and they were the second-worst opening act I have ever seen (the first being some moderately-known band who opened for Fall Out Boy last year and looked and sounded like they were twelve). They NEVER looked up at the crowd...EVER. They even intentionally had their instruments turned so they weren't directly facing the audience. Because of this, it took me an extremely long time to figure out who was actually singing (it turned out to be the keyboardist... who would've guessed?). Meanwhile, my friend who also attended the concert was texting me, telling me how incredibly untalented these dudes were. As if I didn't know.

K, on to #2, the urge to dance to the Spice Girls! If you don't know who the Spice Girls are, just.... just.... ARG! I would say look 'em up on YouTube (that websites a flippin' miracle), but I think I can upload videos onto my blog, so I will make things easy for you and do that. Lazies. Anyway, so my family hosted a Super Bowl party at my house this Sunday (WHICH I DESPISED, because I freaked out, thinking everything was going get broken). I invited my two of my friends to help control me while my mind was in freak-out mode. While we were in my room trying to escape from the four year-olds running around with plates on their heads, I decided to put on some music. One of the friends who was there (the same one texting me in the paragraph above) is a huge fan of the Spice Girls, like me (yes, I understand the dorkiness of that statement), so I played Spice Up Your Life for her. While listening, I remembered a dance I had made up to the chorus when I was about eight. I had taught it to my friend the last time she had been at my house, and we showed it to my other friend, who then joined us in dancing around my room and looking like idiots. We then decided to try and make up dance moves to the rest of the song. This meant trying to decipher the lyrics; I mistook several words for completely different things, especially at the bilingual bridge. (Can you imagine that? Ha ha!) My favorite mistake was when I mistook "Yellow man in" for "Yellowmatic". I have now made yellowmatic my new catchphrase, and have randomly had the urge to dance to the Spice Girls the rest of the week.

Alright, American Idol! Well, I have only honestly watched the first episode. The rest of my information has been retrieved from video clips and articles on Comcast. BUT, based on what I DO know, my thoughts are these: The entire show is a scam that is fraught with idiots. Though I DO think that some of the people they show in the auditions are truly, truly bad singers who thought they stood a chance, I think it is clear that the producers add in some of their own put-together characters to give the show some extra pizazz. Not that that's a bad thing. They certainly need some pizazz, considering how this show just repeats the same soppy stories of unfortunate souls with great voices and happy-go-lucky-cheerleader types who can't carry a tune in a bag. One whom I don't think is producer-made (producer-produced?) is that Brianna chick, a.k.a. "Bikini Girl". No, no! I simply think she's an attention-seeking (insert your choice of insulting noun here) who needs to learn some respect for herself, her parents, and the innocent eyes of the viewers. Is she not aware little children watch that show? Five year-olds do NOT need to see not-exactly-in-shape (insert same insulting noun as before here) strutting around in too-tight bikinis and getting through to Hollywood just because some sarcastic British judge who is 20-30 years older than her likes the way her legs look! But I digress...

PHEW! All this blogging wears down on a person... plus I have to leave to go to a Predator's game in twenty minutes. So, sorry, Miley Cyrus so-called Scandal... you're being forgotten.

What was next? Oh yeah! Pondering About Socks! This is probably the most random of the topics... saving the best for last! So yeah, I was just thinking, toesocks are sooooo much better than regular socks! They have the ability of wrapping nice, warm cloth around each individual toe, keeping the entire foot toasty instead of leaving the toes to freeze in, say, 11 degree weather (guess who did THAT this morning?). My dad doesn't like toesocks because seeing anything stuck between anyone's toes freaks him out, which makes it very entertaining to wear flip-flops! But anyway... the only bad thing about toesocks is that they are always made to come up to your shins, and frankly, that looks incredibly dorky. Not that you can see them if you wear jeans, but it feels weird, too... to me, at least. (Sensing a new poll...) They should make ankle-cut toesocks! That would be so awesome; I would buy twenty pairs. (Or you guys could get them for me for my birthday, which is in exactly a month and one day... hint hint. Just kidding!)

Ok, I think that is enough blogging for today. Do you feel replenished, renewed? Has the randomness cleared the boredom from your mind and gotten your blood flowing again? No? Well... were you at least briefly entertained? Fantastical. Then my goal in life is being fullfilled. Catch ya' later, cats!

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will see ducks in a pond and be inspired to build a winged contraption. Good luck with that.

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