Saturday, February 14, 2009

I Have an Idea for QVC...

Tenacious- strong, unyielding, determined, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award
goes to: Animal Planet!

I hope you came prepared to learn new things and be amused and/or disturbed, because today's award explanation will surely blow your minds in 3...2...1...

Just a few minutes ago, I was lying on my extremely comfortable couch (still am, actually... yay, Saturdays!) when my dad flipped on Animal Planet. They were showing a two-hour segment called Cats 101, and were talking about Persian cats when we started watching. (In case you don't know which ones are the Persians, they're the really pretty long-haired ones with the big eyes. Not ringing a bell? Go experience the wonders of Google.)

An interview with a professional cat groomer came onto the screen. The groomer was telling everyone just how BEAUTIFUL she though Persians were, and how she had two of her own, and why she thought it was SUCH a waste to throw the fur away after she shaves the cats. I was barely listening, but when I heard her next sentence, I just about died.

"I make their fur into handbags!"

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Why would you... wait a second.... just how do you... I mean, who would.... WHAT?

My reaction exactly. And after the shocked and senseless stuttering...


After the maniacal laughter, I could form coherent thoughts and questions, such as: Are you SERIOUS? Where did they find this woman? Who actually buys these purses? And why, why, WHY would you buy one in the first place?

All of those questions were answered, my dear cauliflowers. Yes, they WERE, in fact, serious. They were so serious that they actually took the time to show me one of this woman's customers. As she sat there, lovingly stroking her Persian and the handbag made of her beloved cat's hair, she said something SO LOVING that it has been forever branded in my brain:

"I absolutely love my handbag, because when it comes time to put my cat to sleep, I will always have a piece of him with me."

Excuse me for a moment....

laughs maniacally... again

And now, we come to the most important question of all: Where did they find these people? I suppose I lied when I said all of my questions were answered. I do not know how they came by these... colorful people. But the fact that they DID find them reveals something to me that explains today's award: Animal Planet CLEARLY looks for interesting things to spice up their shows. They are SO anxious to find one, so TENACIOUS (wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more) that they will scrutinize the country thoroughly until characters such as these are revealed to the world in a blaze of cat-shaving, creepy-handbag-making
glory. Huzzah, my friends, and cheers to them.

The Great Blogzini predicts: Your computer will be inducted into the Guiness Book of World Record for being the only computer ever to be sat upon by an African elephant. Congrats!

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