Canes of Candy

Candy Cane- A usually striped stick of peppermint candy with the top curved to resemble a walking cane.

I would like to point out the word STICK in that definition. Because today, I saw something that apparently had only one goal in its small-ish existence: to completely and utterly remake the meaning of that holiday treat so many enjoy.

I have one question for you: WHY is everything so huge lately?!?!?! I am serious; this candy cane I saw today on the bus was a full foot long!!! I mean, it already takes like fifteen minutes to eat a normal sized candy cane- how long can these things possibly take?

And honestly, its not just candy canes that this "lets make it so big it has its own gravitational pull" trend is affecting- IT'S EVERYTHING! Seriously; have you SEEN the "small" McDonald's meals lately? And TV's... I mean, the average screen is, like, 42 inches wide. It seems America is determined to Supersize everything that is bad for us, then complain about how its so weird that everyone's getting fat.

"New research has led scientists to believe recent obesity in Americans has something to do with water contamination."

Oh, well now, that explains everything, doesn't it?