Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Debate of the Century... or at least of the Holidays

Debate- a discussion, as of a public question in an assembly, involving opposing viewpoints.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award
goes to: presents!!!

Yes, its the holiday season, and that means its time for making horribly decorated gingerbread houses, turning the heater up to 100 degrees, and trying not to get trampled in the mall by restless parents eager to buy Elmo Live for their four year old children.

But what generally comes to most people's minds at this time is, of course, the presents they are about to receive. Some people start making their lists in September; others wait until their relatives who have to ship things from other states are constantly sending them reminders on Facebook. (Who, me? Of course not.) And there are long lines of little kids at every public mailbox, shoving letters to Santa through that small metal slot. But no matter when you make your list, or who you send it to, everyone is asking the same age-old question: Are bigger or smaller presents better?

All of the commercials that I have seen (yes, I guess I DO tend to talk about commercials a lot) advertise that smaller is better; after all, one certain box may be the tiniest one in your pile, but inside it could be the biggest diamond you have ever seen. And everyone knows that every kiss begins with Kay, er, K.

But I am sure those people who receive a new car for the holidays would argue differently. I mean, a diamond may be worth a lot, but so is a car, and those are more useful. And what about those who get trampolines (lucky ducks) or new bikes? Do they like their presents better than those who get a Nintendo DS, or a newborn puppy? You can see the dilemma. Why, its a more pressing matter than whether the chicken or the egg came first!

Me? I simply chuckle at this question, because I happen to take a third opinion: Who cares? They're still presents, big or small, right? You can get really terrible big presents, like a pet boulder, just like you can get a really terrible small present, like a dust mite. Or you can get one of the many wonderful, differently sized presents listed above. So, if any of you readers out there are can't decide whether to get someone an elephant or a fancy new pair of shoes they really want for the holidays, take my advice: Don't involve size in your decision. They would OBVIOUSLY like the elephant more.

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