Friday, December 19, 2008

A Holiday Makeover

Style- a mode of fashion, as in dress, especially good or approved fashion.

Everyone knows the famous outfit Santa puts on once a year around this time: his big red jacket that looks ever so warm (where can I get one?), his matching red felt pants, held up by a big black buckle, the boots he wears for treading around in all different countries...and of course, the classic hat, known to all Christmas celebrators simply as "The Santa Hat".

But this year, it seems Santa is getting a makeover. I have seen two examples of this- the first one is those stupid commercials for some new phone that's out. They say the "Santa has gone metro" and he has this new phone and is so cool with it in his hand all the time...which is a grand idea and all, making Saint Nick "hip with the kids" (oh my goodness, who even uses the word hip in that context anymore?), but not likely to be successful considering the other twist they added to it- THEY MADE SANTA SKINNY!!! Yes, that's right, folks, I believe this can be considered an actual crime. Not only that, but he also has puffy, platinum blond hair and no beard. Have any of you seen the Twilight movie lately? Yes? Think Jasper, and you get the idea.

Sorry, whatever phone company you are. You don't make the fat man skinny and get away with it.

The second example of Santa's recent change in wardrobe is the hat. Today, I literally saw about twenty different Santa hats while I was out and about. Of course, some people stuck to the classic red hat with the white ball at the end. But what really caught my eye were the sequin-y silver ones, or the bright purple ones, or (and this is my personal favorite one) the camouflage ones!!! I guess the general public thought Santa needed a new look. It's like a grand, Chrismas, everyone-add-your-opinion edition of What Not to Wear! I support this movement greatly. I love the traditional outfit of the arctic present-giver, but c'mon; where can you go wrong with camo and sequins?

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: Mr. Santa Claus!!!

(Oh, yes. The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award is a new feature I have decided to add to my posts. In case you haven't noticed, and I truly hope you have, on every entry I have a definition at the beginning of the blog. The Walking Dictionary's Defintion of the Day Award will be given to whoever or whatever the definition suits best at the time of the post. Got it? Good.)

Excuse me, I have to go design my own new look for Santa. I am thinking maybe I will Bedazzle his name into his hat, as someone did to their wedding dress on an episode of My Big Redneck Wedding recently. Yay, fake gems!

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