Thursday, October 1, 2009

If You Give a Girl Some Geometry Homework...

Incongruous- senseless, absurd, illogical, etc.

The Walking Dictionary's Definition of the Day Award goes to: circular stories!

What is a circular story, you ask? Think If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, If You Give a Pig a Pancake, etc. Basically, a train of thought written down that comes back to the starting point. So, why is this so stupid? Because it's my latest Geometry assignment.

Yes, it's true. Due tomorrow is my own original circular story... in Geometry. How does this relate to math? Well, dearies, it's all if-then statements! (In other words, it doesn't relate at all. I get the feeling my teacher just wants to read children's stories.)

So, my friend (pretty much my twin, actually; we go by Fred and George, or Samneric to anyone who has read Lord of the Flies.) who shall hereby go by the name of Michelle, and I were talking about this assignment at lunch today. I was telling her how I had written mine in Study Hall and how it had taken me three tries to get one I actually liked. One of my failed attempts started with "If you give a girl some homework..." Michelle said something along the lines of, "We should write one starting like that, except make it really sarcastic and stuff!" Here, my little cabbages, is the outcome of this conversation:


-If you give a girl some geometry homework, then she will be really excited to do it.
-If she's really excited to do it, then she will ask her teacher for more.
-If she asks for more, then she will get more.
-If she gets more geometry homework, then she will become the teacher's pet.
-If she becomes the teacher's pet, then she will ask for extra credit every day.
-If she asks for extra credit every day, then her teacher will get annoyed.
-If her teacher gets annoyed, then she will no longer be the teacher's pet.
-If she is no longer the teacher's pet, then she will have depression.
-If she has depression, then she will need therapy.
-If she needs therapy, then she will sue her teacher.
-If she sues her teacher, then there will be a lawsuit.
-If there is a lawsuit, then there will be lawyers.
-If there are lawyers, then the world will end.
-If the world ends, then the sun will blow up.
-If the sun blows up, then Pluto blows up.
(And because it all has to come back to the starting point...)
-If Pluto blows up, then she will have more geometry homework!

Thank you! Thank you! (Takes a bow) That was an original Fred&George production. Perhaps more to come...

The Great Blogzini predicts: You will feel something falling in your hair later this week, think the sky is falling, and run screaming through the street. You will then realize that it was the leaves falling from the trees.

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